Guinea pigs have the cutest booties. It’s fun to watch cavy butts wiggle when they waddle. Princess Piggy Poo stretches her little legs and her round rump looks almost slender as she scampers about on the wood floors. The other night I was sitting with a backside view of Princess Piggy Poo and admiring how she could give JLo, Kim Kardashian and Beyoncé a run for bootylicious. Then suddenly I wondered, “Hey, why don’t guinea pigs have tails?”
It was a fleeting thought, until this afternoon when a squirrel was playing on my neighbor’s fig tree. He was taunting me with his bushy tail, using it to hang on to the thinnest branches and balance on the bigger ones. Do you think Princess Piggy Poo would have tail-envy if she were to see a squirrel’s tail? I imagine a rat’s tail would creep her out the same as it does me; although those cute little nubs hamsters have on their hineys may be enviable.
Princess Piggy Poo doesn’t need a tail for balancing like a squirrel, maintaining body temperature like a rat or even wagging like a dog. Actually, a tail would get in the way of me picking her up properly with one hand supporting her bum — her big, white, furry, rounded, cuddly, magnificent, all-star, tail-less bum.