Princess Piggy—emphasis on the—Poo

The “Beverly Hills Diet” book was sitting on my kitchen table and my friend Christine’s then-husband John picked it up and started thumbing through it. “You eat like this,” he warned, ”and you’ll be shitting like a goose.” I laughed picturing the poop-covered lawn the geese patrolled when I worked at Publishers Clearinghouse.

I’m here to tell you that when it comes to excrement, geese have nothing on Princess Piggy Poo or her kind. Of course, if you eat a high-fiber diet featuring endless supplies of hay and lettuce you may have nothing on geese either—but guinea pigs have a special relationship with ordure that only the most deviant among us would appreciate.

You wouldn’t believe how many brown bullets Princess Piggy Poo shoots from her chamber in a day, but that isn’t the crappiest part. Guinea pigs—and princesses are not exempt—supplement their diets by eating their feces. Ewww! The practice is called coprophagia. The fact that there’s a word for it is almost as disturbing as the act. Check this out—the caca consumed also has a name, it’s cecotropes. These are special soft pellets produced that recycle B vitamins, fiber and bacteria necessary for healthy digestion.

If you’re still with me, here’s the last bit of fascinating filth. Seems that unless a guinea pig is pregnant or plump, they munch the muck directly from their hiney holes. Gives a whole new meaning to “Hershey squirts,” doesn’t it? Hope you weren’t reading this while having your breakfast.

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4 Responses to Princess Piggy—emphasis on the—Poo

  1. kramer says:

    First, I will say that I’m glad I have already ate my breakfast. But reading this made my breakfast do a flip-flop in my stomach. “Ewww!” is right. As it does for geese and guinea pigs, fiber does produce healthy bowel movements in humans, but that’s where the “relationship” ends . . . for most of us, I hope (Ewww!). While I found this blog highly informative, I will never think of “Hershey squirts” the same. As to Princess Piggy Poo’s innate practice of coprophagia, well . . . that’s about enough shit for the day!! 🙂

  2. Phyllis says:

    I was eating my Cheerios while I read this. Well, I need to eat less anyway. Thanks for the help Princess Piggy Pooooo (and her Mama). And, thanks for teaching me some new words. Had to look up ordure. Thankfully, Cheerios was not one of the descriptions listed…

  3. Angee says:

    How many references to the word “poop” did you use? Maybe I’ll see one of these words on the SAT!

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